As long as my memory can extend, all these 19 years of my adventurous life filled with joy, grief, hate & aggression have also been part of my adventure.
Being exposed to an aggressive environment very early in life affects the later part of my life - mainly mid to late teens. All of us have heard that hate is a strong word & its not used often to avoid miscommunication.
Since I have come this far in my life, it's safe to say that I have successfully evaded the negative aspects of my life until now, or at least what I believed for the first few months of college.
Escaping from people can be easy but running from your past is challenging. So after, being in a stressful & hostile environment, it severely affected my mental health. Earlier, thinking about something without having to use abusive words was the way I felt, but after all the stress, there hasn't been a time when abusive words weren't a part of my thought process.
My hate originates from trust issues; that being said, I tend not to trust a close person to me, in a way, because it's human nature that somehow the person will end up disappointing me. Partly it's my fault because before getting to know anyone, usually, my thought process is
I hate everyone because I have a bias that everyone I meet in my life is as I expect, but some change my mind.
Now to come to the main issue, how hate affects your mental health (not research-based but observed by personal experiences) :
1. easily agitated
2. consistently negative thoughts
3. resorting to aggression as a coping mechanism.
4. fluctuations in mood.
5. difficulty in socializing.
This was based on my personal experiences; its suggested that grudges are forgotten & you move on because it makes your life difficult in every way possible.