is thinking about ending
their life
This guide is written for the person supporting someone else. It's deliberately not a self-help guide for someone in crisis — that isn't something a downloadable document can safely be.
If you are the one having these thoughts right now, please call Tele-MANAS on 14416. Free, 24 hours, in your language. You can talk to a person tonight.
Educational information, not treatment or diagnosis. Written to WHO/Samaritans safe-messaging standards.
First, the thing most people get wrong
You will not put the
idea in their head
This fear stops more conversations than anything else. It is wrong, and it has been studied carefully. Asking directly does not increase risk. It usually brings relief — because the person has been carrying it alone and waiting for someone to make it sayable.
“Are you thinking about ending your life?”
Not “you're not thinking of doing anything silly, are you?” — which tells them the honest answer is unwelcome. The plain question, calmly asked, is the one that lets the truth out. It signals you can handle the answer, which is exactly what they need to know before they'll give it.
There is no gentle euphemism that works better than the direct question. Warmth is in your tone and your staying, not in softening the words until they can be dodged.
If they say yes
Don't panic. Don't
argue. Do stay.
Reduce access to the means. This sounds too simple to matter; it's one of the best-supported findings in the whole field. Suicidal crises are frequently brief and intense. Putting distance and time between a person and the means available to them saves lives — not by removing the wish, but by outlasting the moment.
Practically: quietly reduce what's within reach at home. Involve them where you can — “can we keep these at my place for now” is a conversation, not a confiscation.
Make a plan together, on paper
Build it with them.
Then stay in touch.
There's a well-tested approach where you write down, together: the warning signs, so they're caught early; what helps them settle on their own; who they can be around and where they can go; who they can call; the professional numbers; and what's been put out of reach.
In trials, doing this collaboratively — and then staying in touch afterwards — was associated with around 45% fewer suicidal behaviours over six months. The important part is that you build it together and that you follow up. A blank form doesn't do this. The conversation does.
Many families believe a suicide attempt will bring police involvement. This is no longer the case. Under the Mental Healthcare Act 2017, a person who attempts suicide is presumed to be under severe stress, shall not be prosecuted, and the government is obliged to provide care. If fear of the law is stopping your family seeking help, that fear is out of date. Please don't let it decide anything.
Never promise absolute secrecy about safety. It's kinder, and safer, to say early: “I'll always act to keep you alive, and I'll tell you before I do anything.”
Self-harm, urgent help, and you
Get help now, and
look after yourself too
Some people hurt themselves to cope with unbearable feeling, without wanting to die. It's frightening to see and it isn't the same as a suicide attempt — though it does mean someone needs support. Try not to react with horror, anger, or ultimatums. They're understandable and they reliably make the person hide it, which makes everything more dangerous. Stay calm, stay connected, help them get to someone who can work on the feelings underneath.
There's a plan and the means are available; there's been a recent attempt; they can't stay safe until tomorrow; or they're not making sense or seem out of touch with reality.
Call 14416. Or go to the nearest hospital emergency. Or call 112. Do not leave them alone while you arrange it.
Supporting someone through this is exhausting and frightening, and you cannot do it alone indefinitely. Tell someone. Get your own support. Sharing the weight isn't disloyalty — it's what makes staying possible. Tele-MANAS 14416 is for you as much as for them.
The summary
The one-page
version
“You don't have to fix it in ten minutes. You have to stay, ask plainly, and not leave them alone.”
Written by Tanuj Suthar, Counselling Psychologist (MSc Clinical Psychology), under supervision, to WHO/Samaritans safe-messaging standards. Educational information, not treatment or diagnosis. Series 2 · Topic 7 · Version 1.0 · August 2026.