See it, label it, prevent it—examples of ingrained misogyny in everyday life.

Be nice, smile more, sit like a woman, don’t abuse, wear something decent,” eat less, and look pretty. These are some of the comments you must have heard here and there by a lot of people. These people can be your relatives, friends, and even your parents. Women are praised for being nice but hated for being bossy or too pushy because a woman’s confidence is only appreciated when it’s not a threat to society’s norms. This is a very basic example of how misogyny is ingrained in our society. Misogyny refers to the hatred, contempt, or prejudice directed towards women or girls. It can also encompass societal structures and environments that are hostile and discriminatory towards women, stemming from a historically male-dominated power dynamic.

The very concept of misogyny is disheartening and dehumanizing to women as well as men. In a world where women are judged for everything and men are not allowed to show any other emotion but rage, it is extremely difficult to understand the other gender. reading this piece, you can become aware of some ways in which misogyny is ingrained.

Now we shall delve into some specific examples of misogyny.

1. Men taking rejection—“Oh“ my god, he lost the girl”—this is the type of comment you generally hear in a group of boys when a guy faces rejection by a girl. Just a slight comment like ‘like you lost the girl’ makes these little boys perceive that women are properties or a bet they lost and not a person they wanted to have a connection with. Not dealing with these rejections carefully can lead these boys to be a part of incels (hate groups).

   
   

2. How men’s failure is also considered a woman’s responsibility If you think about it closely enough, daddy issues are made to feel like the girl couldn’t even keep her father around, but the reality is the father abandoned her and mistreated her. Women are blamed for the type of clothes they were wearing when the rape or the sexual assault took place. Holding women accountable for being in that abusive marriage instead of holding that man responsible for his actions. In this patriarchal society, men’s behavior is constantly trivialized and justified by comments like ‘men will be men’ or ‘boys will be boys. This lack of accountability and responsibility can lead to a lot of issues and imbalances in the division of work in the family.

   
   

   Here are some examples of the same:

   • How it is acceptable for men to make sexist jokes, use abusive language, ignore their wives and kids, and overwork, to be alcoholic just because they earn money?

   • How it is imposed on us (women) again and again that men cheat because they are incapable of fidelity or they need multiple women to stay sexually happy.

   • Women are expected to do more in relationships and expect less in return. A woman cannot make one single mistake taking care of a newborn baby, but on the other hand, a man doing a simple chore like singing a lullaby would make him the best father in the world.

   • Women are expected to take care of children no matter what (even if she is a housewive or if she works). Cooking and cleaning are considered a woman’s job. A man who knows how to cook is ideal, whereas a woman who cooks—well, there is nothing special about her; she is supposed to do so.

   • Women’s work is considered a cute little hobby, but a man’s work is ‘real work.’ For example, if a man doesn’t come home for months because of work, it is completely understandable. But a woman working just normal hours of work makes her a woman who ignores her children and husband and lacks love for her family. The very concept of ‘breadwinner’ or ‘head of the house’ kills shared responsibility amongst partners and imposes a power dynamic. At this point, there are only two reasons why men don’t want to be househusbands: a. they are scared that society will judge them and won't respect them enough, or else they are scared they will be treated just like women have been treated for decades.

3. Honor-based abuse—Honor-based abuse is a form of abuse motivated by the belief that an individual has brought shame or dishonor to their family or community. This can involve various forms of abuse, including forced marriage, physical and emotional violence, sexual assault, and even murder. These include behavior like how virginity is a big thing for women and they are imposed to be pure and how men’s behavior is often excused by saying that they can’t control themselves. Women’s dignity is constructed over the mere concept of who and how often she choose to have sex. Society’s views on abortion are also an example of honor-based behavior. Women are considered cruel for having an abortion and less womanly for not wanting kids. This behavior has no relation with humanity and everything to do with controlling women and what they do with their bodies. In many countries, women are forced to keep children that they got pregnant with when they were raped.

4. Women’s bodies are always a hot topic—women are oversexualized from a very young age. Some clothes are marketed like, “Sorry boys. Dad says no dating, which is sized for a newborn. Which instigated us to think about who would date a one-year-old. All girls' clothes are remarkably smaller in size than those of boys. As soon as a girl hits her teenage years, she is told to maintain weight, be girly, obey people, be nice, please others, and whatnot. Having a sexual relationship with multiple guys makes her a slut, but a guy doing the same makes him a stud. Women are expected to shave every inch of their bodies for them to feel pretty. She is expected to love cooking and cleaning and hates sports and mechanical things. Women have to be skinny enough but not too skinny, thick from the right directions, loving, caring, and beautiful but not intelligent enough to make their own decisions about their bodies. 

In the end, I would like to conclude by giving some tips on how, as a society, we can prevent misogyny.

For women—

Call it out—never stay quiet or laugh at that sexist or rape joke. Don’t laugh or smile or try to be nice if someone makes you uncomfortable with what they say or do. Speak up on people’s wrong actions. When you stay quiet in those situations, you betray yourself. Calling it out is the only way you can make people feel accountable and pay for their actions.

Self-love—you are beautiful just the way you are. Society will try to make you believe otherwise, but listen to that little voice in your head that says you are something. Remember that the size of your pants doesn’t define your success in life. People are just worthy enough with or without that mascara.

Educate people and yourself—beware of what people think and talk about. Try to stay away from people who cage you just because you are a woman. Being a woman is always a strength and never a weakness. Even if your friend makes a misogynistic joke or body shames someone, educate them to be better. 

Be strong—be strong enough to leave that abusive relationship. Be strong enough to understand that you deserve more. Never put labels on yourself that society gives you because you don’t behave the way they want you to. Life is too short to waste it on pleasing everyone. Be strong enough to always choose yourself.

And last but not least, never downplay misogyny. It's not some small thing; it’s years and years of discriminatory behavior that changed how women perceive themselves. As a woman, not calling it out will cause inconvenience to you and you only. We need feminism because my 12-year-old sister already cares about the way she looks and how much she eats.

A note for men—

The above article doesn’t state that men in general are bad people; it states the continuous suppression women have to go through with their lives. Being a man does not make you a bad person, but staying quiet when these atrocities happen does. Men can help society by understanding shared responsibility and showing more empathy towards women. Empathy shouldn’t come because they are someone’s mother, sister, or daughter. Empathy should come because they are humans too. They also deserve to have a happy and safe life. Men can help people by taking accountability for their actions and by listening to each other’s needs. Together we can make an environment for all genders to live happily and peacefully.

References

Tackling misogyny. (n.d.). https://www.towerhamlets.gov.uk/lgnl/community_and_living/community_safety__crime_preve/domestic_viol #:~:text=Internalised%20misogyny&text=You%20judge%20women's%20sexual%.